THE DEVIL'S OWN GOAL: CLUB RENAMES STADIUM IN SATAN'S NAME
football club has scored an own goal after it had to embarrassingly rename its stadium in honour of the DEVIL. Clay Cross Town FC from Derbyshire will officially play the forthcoming season at The Devil Made Me Do It Ground, the same name as the town's tattoo parlour. The club organised the £10 raffle draw for businesses in the area as part of an exercise to rebrand the club, including selling the name of its Mill Lane ground. First out of the hat of the 30 entrants was the tattoo studio who will now sponsor the Central Midlands Football League side's ground until next May. The side turn out in front of 150 fans each home game but club officials said they were not worried attendances would dip by supporters being put off by evil spirits circulating the stadium. Committee member Martin Roberts admitted the club just need a DEMON in front of goal to earn the club promotion.
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I'M READY FOR MY CLOSE UP NOW, MR NUTKIN
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PARROT RIDES ON THE TUBE
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10-MONTH-OLD SON SUFFERED BURNS TO 35% OF HIS BODY AFTER KNOCKING SCALDING POT OF WATER OVER HIMSELF AT NURSERY
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REAL FRANKENSTEIN'S LAB
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SLEEPY GROUNDHOG
WITH a paw in the air and his tongue hanging from his mouth, it is clear to see that this little groundhog is struggling to wake up and leave behind the comfort of his burrow .
HOLE LOT OF TROUBLE: BADGERS BORE UNDER TRAIN TRACK
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DESPERATE FOR A THIGH GAP I STARVED MYSELF TO 5ST 8LB
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